UH OH.

SORRY everyone. I have been absolutely terrible with updating this thing. Second semester, for me, was a real increase to my schedule. Add to that having issues with internet availability and connectivity, and finally mix in some good old procrastination, and you have a recipe for a cold blog. Whoops.

Things here have been really great, though different from their usual pacing. Bethel has been entering into a new season as a church body, so on a large scale, there has been some intense spiritual warfare going on since christmastime. At this point in March there has been a real release from that spiritual warfare, and many have declared a "New Year" from this intense season of battle.

These past months have been an absolute transformational period for me yet again. Starting with the miracle breakthroughs that we had in January, I was brought into a season where I really examined my own spiritual DNA. Sometimes, in looking solely towards our destiny, we never take the opportunity to look at the whole scope of our lives and think of things from a multigenerational perspective. I have realized that I am not on earth for some specific assignment; that is not my first priority. My heart is to know Him intimately and to make Him known.

It is easy for believers with good intentions to become so passionate about the things of God that they misguidedly reduce life down to their attempt to fulfill the Great Commission. They begin to find their identity in how near they are to seeing their passions come to fruition, and in doing so they set themselves up for discouragement and dejection. They despise the deadness of religious institution, but create for themselves a monotonous life routine of striving that doesn't bear fruit that remains. There always seems to be an invisible boundary between the promises of God and the reality of those promises becoming tangible, and believers in this state believe that the boundary will be broken with greater effort and determination. This perpetuates their passions and keeps them deadlocked towards an uncertain end; one they hope will finally resolve their good deeds and bring the changes they so desperately seek.
One of the greatest tactics of the enemy is to convince us that His purpose in creating us is to accomplish His commission, instead of the truth that we are truly created to know Him intimately. Through intimacy we're called, but not out of His need. We're called because He enjoys including us in every aspect of His passions, and they are always for people. We certainly aren't asked to save the world (Jesus already did) and we're not asked to even change it unless He has set us up for that purpose. We are called to love Him! Ministry can be defined as "overflow".
This is the way in which God has been dealing with me. I realize that my desire to be an influence, my desire to bring about positive change, outweighed my desire to truly know Him. It wasn't what I said to Him that gave it away; it was how I spent my time, the way I prayed, and the way I ministered. I thought the substance of my life with Him was spent towards His purposes. I didn't really expect encounters because I didn't think I needed them. I was already equipped and I thought I knew what I was "supposed" to do.

We are meant to love Him, in a tangible and practical way. This shifts the priorities of every part of your life! My relationship with God doesn't have an end result anymore: I want to know Him despite the cost, whether I am a major part of His plan or not. Now I am addicted to encountering His presence and seeing Him shift things in me. This is sometimes painful! But it is worth it. God prunes those He loves.


testimony/

Last sunday at the meeting, Bill felt a grace to begin to call out words of knowledge for healing. Over the phone, the word of knowledge about 'spina bifida' was released, and there was a partial healing! The man's spine straightened and so did his leg. OVER THE PHONE! It was amazing, and the whole church freaked out. 111 people got healed that night, many of them just from when the word was released. Praise God!